On what made me start writing this blog.
I’m having an affair.
So far it has cost me much of my sanity, my former map of the world, and my job. (Or, in the name of honesty, let me put it more precisely: The career I was trying to want.)
It has also cost me some relationships. I understand, how could it not. What I am experiencing can be a lot to take, even for the observer.
It almost cost me my marriage, too. However, to my gratifying surprise, the three of us are now learning to get along. I am hopeful about the future.
You may be horrified to read this. But the thing is, I’m in love. And there’s no turning back.
As you may guess: In exchange for all these things, my affair has given me quite a bit. I have gained new friends: Dialogue Beyond Bullshit, Peace Of Mind and Sense Of Direction to name a few. Also my relationships with many human beings have been lifted to a whole new level. I am very lucky, and very grateful.
So far it has cost me much of my sanity, my former map of the world, and my job. (Or, in the name of honesty, let me put it more precisely: The career I was trying to want.)
It has also cost me some relationships. I understand, how could it not. What I am experiencing can be a lot to take, even for the observer.
It almost cost me my marriage, too. However, to my gratifying surprise, the three of us are now learning to get along. I am hopeful about the future.
You may be horrified to read this. But the thing is, I’m in love. And there’s no turning back.
As you may guess: In exchange for all these things, my affair has given me quite a bit. I have gained new friends: Dialogue Beyond Bullshit, Peace Of Mind and Sense Of Direction to name a few. Also my relationships with many human beings have been lifted to a whole new level. I am very lucky, and very grateful.
Latest at this point you must be furious with me not defining what I mean with “the truth”. I mean pretty much the same thing as the dictionary does: Truth is the state of being the case. However, it is the last thing we typically accept as being the case. If we did, things like politics, business and parenthood would be totally different – maybe a bit more painful, but definitely more productive.
As you may read from my little introductory story above, we are often more familiar with what the truth is not. Why is that? There are many reasons behind this, but I find the most significant one to be: We are afraid we couldn’t really cope with it. We put so much energy in this life into developing mechanisms to help us escape from reality – for example, we tell ourselves stories about how we are too weak/small/insignificant to do what we really want to do; we exercise like crazy and mask ourselves with the most creative creams, make-up and even surgery to kid ourselves from the fact that our bodies are mortal; we go out of our way to prove that we are not to blame for our unsatisfying, crappy everyday life. It is quite a crisis for the ego to admit that actually, we are better off without these little mechanisms that consume most of our energy on a daily basis.
But back to my affair. Let me tell you a little about how we met. I first got to know Truth when I was born. I don’t know when that was, but I have a feeling it was quite a long time ago. It wasn’t love at first sight. Truth wasn’t exactly the kind of partner I thought I would end up with. To prove my expectations right, for many years I kept looking for a more good-looking and more suitable partner. However, as it turned out, and as it often does in romantic stories, I had the right one beside me all my life. I guess if this were now a wedding scene in a great movie, I would be tempted to say something as cheesy as: “On some level, I always knew.”
But the truth is: I didn’t. I thought the voice inside me, my intuition, was occasionally a handy tutor – but more often than not, an outright distraction. I guess this is why we spend so much energy escaping Truth: It is much easier to make decisions that influence many people (with completely different backgrounds, positions and needs) when you don’t have a clue of all that complexity. It is very tempting to think there is a simple textbook answer that can be learned – without having to go inside yourself searching for the answer. I guess everyone dreams of it at some point: Once it’s learned, you know what to do. Always. Righteousness guaranteed. Great!
(This is what much of our society is based on: Doctors learn a pattern of routines, which can be matched with the corresponding problem. Once they’re done, they’re done. The test is not whether the initial problem was solved – for example, the root cause behind a patient’s mysterious stomach pains resolved. But the test is: whether what was supposed to be done was done. This brings us a great sense of security and predictability. The only handicap is that these emotions are based on illusions – not reality.)
So now I have come clean. I have outed myself as a lover of Truth. I guess we are now beyond the point of chitchat, so let me ask you: Are you friends with my lover?
If you share my curiosity towards what life can look like if we ditch the old theatrical mannerism, do read on. All you need is your curiosity. And some readiness to laugh at life, me, yourself, and all the funny things we do. This is my adventure. I invite you to join me.
As you may read from my little introductory story above, we are often more familiar with what the truth is not. Why is that? There are many reasons behind this, but I find the most significant one to be: We are afraid we couldn’t really cope with it. We put so much energy in this life into developing mechanisms to help us escape from reality – for example, we tell ourselves stories about how we are too weak/small/insignificant to do what we really want to do; we exercise like crazy and mask ourselves with the most creative creams, make-up and even surgery to kid ourselves from the fact that our bodies are mortal; we go out of our way to prove that we are not to blame for our unsatisfying, crappy everyday life. It is quite a crisis for the ego to admit that actually, we are better off without these little mechanisms that consume most of our energy on a daily basis.
But back to my affair. Let me tell you a little about how we met. I first got to know Truth when I was born. I don’t know when that was, but I have a feeling it was quite a long time ago. It wasn’t love at first sight. Truth wasn’t exactly the kind of partner I thought I would end up with. To prove my expectations right, for many years I kept looking for a more good-looking and more suitable partner. However, as it turned out, and as it often does in romantic stories, I had the right one beside me all my life. I guess if this were now a wedding scene in a great movie, I would be tempted to say something as cheesy as: “On some level, I always knew.”
But the truth is: I didn’t. I thought the voice inside me, my intuition, was occasionally a handy tutor – but more often than not, an outright distraction. I guess this is why we spend so much energy escaping Truth: It is much easier to make decisions that influence many people (with completely different backgrounds, positions and needs) when you don’t have a clue of all that complexity. It is very tempting to think there is a simple textbook answer that can be learned – without having to go inside yourself searching for the answer. I guess everyone dreams of it at some point: Once it’s learned, you know what to do. Always. Righteousness guaranteed. Great!
(This is what much of our society is based on: Doctors learn a pattern of routines, which can be matched with the corresponding problem. Once they’re done, they’re done. The test is not whether the initial problem was solved – for example, the root cause behind a patient’s mysterious stomach pains resolved. But the test is: whether what was supposed to be done was done. This brings us a great sense of security and predictability. The only handicap is that these emotions are based on illusions – not reality.)
So now I have come clean. I have outed myself as a lover of Truth. I guess we are now beyond the point of chitchat, so let me ask you: Are you friends with my lover?
If you share my curiosity towards what life can look like if we ditch the old theatrical mannerism, do read on. All you need is your curiosity. And some readiness to laugh at life, me, yourself, and all the funny things we do. This is my adventure. I invite you to join me.
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